Okay, an Actual Update

I'm now recognizing that last post was not an actual update.

So we received some strange news. I think it's strange... You guys, I don't even know anymore. So the US embassy is telling us people from a different branch of the Ugandan government (so not the courts, but the Ministry of Gender and Other Things I Can't Remember Off the Top of my Head) has been going around to adoptive families in country and asking to see their dossiers. I don't know what happens after that if one allows them to do that, but the US embassy is advising adopters to call the embassy instead.

And I'm like

Don't with me, Ministry of Whatever and Stuff

I am not traveling to Uganda for governmental drama, and I do not want some kind of as one escaping through the flames adoption. Yes, I know I need to have a "come to Jesus" time about this. But in my flesh, I'm hardcore Liz Lemoning this situation.

The other thing is less Annoyed Lemon and more Confused Bunny

So we now are being told we have to make an appointment to file a form. And we can't do any of the other steps to get the girls home until that form is approved, and I'm just going to assume that the approval will take like a minute. Or a day is fine. But So we have to get an appointment to file a form? What? Like there's no interview, we're just handing in papers. The interview comes after. What is the point of the interview if our big fat important form has already been approved?

Okay, maybe I'm a little Lemon on this one as well. I'm just super done. I'll feel better when we're in Uganda and with our girls. And I'll feel really way better when me and the girls are on the plane home.

FINALLY Introducing...

The judge said "Yes!" So introducing:

Stella Muenich, age 4

Stella is actually laughing in this picture because she put her sister in the wardrobe. It's pretty obvious she's going to be inciting disobedience in our house. I mean, what's a big sister to do but try and get her younger siblings in trouble? She also really likes to help me do basically anything. She is so precious to me. 

Also introducing:

Mirah Muenich, age 2

This child is so sassy. I don't think we've seen a lot of her personality because she was so sick when we got her, but this girl. She's gonna be a handful in the best way.

These are pictures from the last two days we had our girls. I don't think I'll share pictures of them from much earlier -- they're kind of hard to look at for anyone who knows what grief looks like in children. Besides, Mirah was so sick.

difficult news

Finally got some news about our case. The judge is refusing to issue the ruling until we appear before him so he can explain the conditions of our legal guardianship. We are trying to figure out the best course of action.

A few scenarios are playing out in my head:

1) We wait until the new judge comes in office on January 8th, not knowing how s/he would rule on our case, and probably having to do the court proceedings all over again (meaning another two months from then before we could get the girls home).

2) I go now before this judge leaves office and get the written ruling and go through the passport & visa process without the family, or the judge's conditions are such that we cannot accept guardianship of the girls.

I wish we could all go and just have Christmas in Uganda as a family, but we don't have the funds. We are trying to get more information so we can make a decision. Please pray for us. I was really hoping to introduce our daughters to the public today...

Welcome to International Adoption

Got this email today after asking for our court info:

Daniel is our lawyer in Uganda.

*sigh* I'm not entirely sure no news is good news, but I guess no news isn't bad news. I guess. Hopefully we'll have good news tomorrow.

A Sneak Peek (of sorts)

Yes, I've been furiously packing, buying random things (bless you, Amazon! and Target!), emailing & texting a million people, and running around like... well, like I have TWO DAYS to prepare for leaving the country (and one of those is Thanksgiving). I went out and bought a new outfit for our court date because apparently what I was planning on wearing was too casual. Stephen's also borrowing a suit from his dad because what he was planning on wearing was too casual. What can I say? We're casual people.

Yes, these are now the most formal clothes I own. A dress with slacks underneath. #winning?

I'll be wearing my own jewelry: the Freedom necklace.

 Indeed, I really hope the apartment we're staying in has an iron. And clearly I'm an incredible flat stylist. *eyeroll*

On a crazier note, no one told me (until Monday morning) that the girls will be staying with us during this trip.
[pause for effect.]
As in, we will meet them at their orphanage, and they will come back with us to Kampala, and they will be with us for our meetings and our court date and for five whole days we will be together. And then on Saturday, we will take them back to the orphanage and leave them there and fly back to the US.
[pause for effect.]
Ugh this is the worst idea ever when I think about that Saturday, which also happens to be our older girl's fourth birthday. So, I've been focusing on not-Saturday and have only had brief moments of hysterical crying since.

This is everything they will need for 6 days (minus food) I HOPE.

So we need to bring clothes for them and jammies and underwear and toothbrushes and shoes (what size? NO IDEA) and things to entertain them and what?!? What. Okay, do all the things. And that has been my mode lately: do all the things. So here are a couple of outfits they will wear (since they won't be coming to us with clothes).

This is the dress the girls will be wearing to court.

Of course I have a matching skirt for this. But the shirts won't match, so it's not weird.

I bought this romper when we were going to adopt Helene (in 2013). I've saved it basically out of stubbornness that I'll have a girl to put in it. I'm full of joy and thanksgiving and sadness when I think that Mirah will wear it, but Helene never got to. I still think about her a lot. Adoption loss is weird.

I don't know if I'll get a chance to post again before we leave; in addition to packing for myself and two girls I've never met before, I also need to get our boys packed up for staying with my parents for nine days. and have Thanksgiving. I have been promised wifi, so I'll try to update. It's supposed to be about dial-up speed, so you'll probably have to wait until I get back for more pictures.

Praise God for December First!

LOOK what we got in our inbox this morning! Our court date! We are hurriedly making preparations to leave on Friday of next week!

PLEASE PLEASE be praying we will have a good visit with our girls, favor with the judge who sees our case, and that the judge will give us our written ruling by the time the courts close on December 15th. And for the hundred things that need to happen for our home and selves to be ready to receive them here. Our girls.

You could also be praying for our boys, who will miss us so much, and my parents, who will be watching them while we're gone.

Wednesday WHAT.

I've been busy with a conference this week, but I came home Monday to find this in the mail:

YOU KNOW WHAT I REQUEST, USCIS?!? I can't tell you because I want to be like Jesus. And he loves you I GUESS

And I promptly had a dramatic moment. You know, an I HATE EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD moment, quickly followed by a WHY IS EVERYONE INCOMPETENT moment. And then I tried to actually read the document for comprehension, and had a I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS moment.

Luckily, there are actually some people who know what they're doing, and our home study has been updated to include the mysterious "specific requirements" our home study was missing. I've also emailed USCIS to let them know that we actually live at the address on the front page of our home study, and not in Pennsylvania, as they've concluded from the documents we needed because our Uganda agency is in Pennsylvania. You might think that's confusing, but remember, looking at home studies is this person's ONLY JOB. YOUR ONLY JOB, USCIS GUY. I will forgive you. Well, I'm working on it, okk?

And then after calling both agencies (and leaving voicemails), and then emailing both agencies, and venting just a little bit to Stephen, I was able to reconnect with God's heart and re-trust him with our adoption and the timing of it. I'll talk about that more later on.

Wednesday What?

All day I've been feeling... weird.

I can't name the emotions yet (probably because there are several present), but I feel weird knowing our dossier is being sent to Uganda. After thinking and thinking, I realized at least why I'm feeling weird:

We've never hit this step in our adoption before. We are now officially entering new territory. Up to sending our dossier off, we've done it before. We had a dossier 80% complete when we got on the wait list for our original agency (all of our documents that aren't birth records expired and had to be reattained) 3 years ago. We didn't even finish our home study update when we lost Helene to the DRC closing.

I'm so afraidexcited. Excitafraid? We're getting really close to being able to meet the girls. To actually see them, to interact with them. You parents, you remember your first moments with your newborn? Imagine if, instead of nine months of anticipation, your baby has been gestating for fifty months. Yes, we've been actively taking steps to adopt for fifty months. Our joy will be like the sunrise.

Sunrise over the Kazinga Channel.

The what-ifs are getting equally as real, and it has become a daily struggle to throw off waves of anxiety about the possibility that there has been corruption in our adoption, or that the judge will say no. I don't think I need to explain how devastated we would be to go to Uganda full of hope and have those hopes shattered.

I don't want this blog to become Michelle's Prayer Request Update, but I also want to have grace with myself and recognize that this is a pretty intense time in our lives, and we could really use prayer.

Wednesday Whaaat: Why the Rush?

So what's the rush on this adoption? Can we just slow it down if we don't raise the funds?

It's complicated.

There are a lot of things that come into play when you talk about timing in international adoption. The constraint for us personally is our USCIS approval. Ours will run out at the end of October. Which means that we need to submit our I600 by the end of October. Which means (I understand) we need to receive our court ruling from the judge in Uganda by this time. If we don't, we will need to refile our I600-A and get re-fingerprinted. Which, in itself, isn't the end of the world. But it takes time - at minimum two months. And the courts close for about a month around Christmastime. Which puts us at bringing our girls home in March at the earliest (and adds about $1,500 to the cost of our adoption, maybe more depending on what parts of our dossier we would need to redo).

And I don't want to wait that long to bring them home. And I don't want them in an orphanage (even a great one) for a day longer than they need to be, let alone several months. I want them to spend Christmas with us. I want 2015 to be the year we call them daughter and the year they become Muenichs. Can you blame me? We belong together.

Wednesday WHAT.

OUR HOMESTUDY DOCUMENTS GOT SENT TO THE WRONG POST OFFICE.

You guys. You guys. I can't.

I should have known to just drive them to Waco. That sounds ridiculous, but they would have been there literally a week earlier. I could have gotten them to Waco faster by crab-walking to Waco with the packet on my stomach. I cannot, you guys.

The worst part? They were sent to a post office TWELVE MILES AWAY FROM THE AGENCY, then rerouted back to Fort Worth. Srsly, China Springs USPS, just call me and I WILL DRIVE UP AND HAND DELIVER IT LIKE A BABY. *drops mic*

Wednesday Whaaaat?

My Wednesday Whaaat is dedicated to our doctor's office losing the documents we need. So I had to call our homestudy agency to get them, print them out again, put notary wording on them again, make copies again, write out instructions for our doctor again, put them in a packet again, and give them to the office. Again.

I was supposed to hit "schedule" for this and didn't. Here's my whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat for yesterday.

Wednesday Whaaat?

I probably won't do this every Wednesday, but I thought this would be funny, mostly because it reminds me of this piece of preschool ridiculousness. FYI that may only be funny if you've already watched Rescue Bots. If you haven't, go about your merry way, having missed NOTHING. Anyway, hopefully laughing at this biz will help dispel some of the residual frustration.

There are so many ridiculous things about the process of adopting. Today I just want to highlight two.

The first is just that it's ridiculous that Texas Vital Statistics only allows you to buy 3 birth certificates at a time. So I had to buy 4 for Judah (at $22 each, YES FOR A PIECE OF PAPER). Which meant I had to do the verification process and then the ordering process twice. So dumb.

The second is that we need "national-level" (FBI) background clearances for our dossier. Which you can get. Except the FBI says it's illegal some states. Which states? I dunno. Nowhere was it clear. Not on the FBI site, Not on the Texas government site it linked to. Not on a Google search. NOWHERE. I spent an hour trying to figure out what I was supposed to do for Texas. No idea, and I think I'm not an internet doofus (though I'm sure all the internet doofi say that). Calling our homestudy agency to check because our actual agency is in Pennsylvania.