Jehovah Jireh

As far as I understand, this (the link in the title) is the only Bible reference to this name of the Lord. Honestly, I prefer this sort of context.
I don't want to just spout out that God will supply ___. Cause... Sometimes, it REALLY feels like He doesn't. Why did He have the IRS wait 6 months to give us our tax return? Why did He withhold a teaching job last year, only to have one offered this year, when I knew I couldn't take it? Why have our numbers not really moved forward in support raising, even though we are getting new partners? We will NEED to have family insurance raised in December. We could really use a paycheck for me, even a little one. Emotionally, I could use a paycheck; it's tiring to work hard and not get paid for it. Maybe it's God providing groundwork for being a mom.

I'm just... surmising. Trying to make sense out of a lot of things that haven't to me. I guess I'm not sure about what "kids" I'm withholding from the sacrificial altar. I want to be one who isn't blown about by circumstances of the moment and who doesn't feel betrayed every time it appears God isn't providing. In truth, we have had our daily bread. We just haven't received the blessings prayed over us by dear brothers and sisters. Sometimes, I'm 100% "WHAT GIVES, GOD?!?" and sometimes I'm just, "well, okay. the results are Your problem." I think that's the closest to healthy I get. And it's very pat to say something like: if God didn't give it, then it wouldn't have been a blessing anyway." But in our honest moments, who genuinely feels like that even most of the time? Not I. I wanted to be done by the beginning of the semester. And I don't see how it'd even be physically possible to raise a few thousand dollars in monthly recurring gifts in a month. I am willing to challenge the Lord to do it, but I don't think He will. I think God likes to do things the hard way. Isn't that kind of sad? I don't want my kids to learn things the hard way, and I don't even know their names.

At this point, I know I really need to reserve judgement until the Lord enlightens my eyes. But, ugh! That's hard! But I do feel confident that I will not be this way forever. Love.

Yoga (Pants) for Baby!

So, no, I'm not going to force my infant to do yoga. I don't even do yoga much, aside from cat/cow asanas. and corpse pose, natch. But! This pattern (link in title) seemed (and is) super easy. So I made pants! awww... Here they are:


So, you can see I didn't buy this fabric. I know the tutorial calls for a large t-shirt, but both t-shirts were smalls (courtesy my closet and Stephen's, which he graciously forgave me since I didn't ask, muahahaha), and they worked out okay. I did have to figure out for myself how much elastic to use, so I hope they fit. Still, I didn't close up the hole in the waistband, so I can add/subtract if necessary. and, honestly, it's elastic. We put it on babies because it's stretchy. Love!

First "Onesie"

I put onesie in quotes a) because I think that's a stupid word, and b) because my attempt turned out... quotational. Here it is:

So you see how weird the legs are. It's because I decided I'd use the ribbing on the neck of my t-shirt to wrap around the leg holes. and... It didn't work out quite as I'd planned. But I made the pattern by taking apart the onesie featured in the link above. I think I may not do this again, a) because I think people will give us plenty of onesies, and b) because it was kind of annoying to make. Part of me feels like a bad mom for saying that (and I'm not even a full mom yet!), but ya know what? Our baby will be a baby. S/he won't care what s/he's wearing as long as s/he's comfy. So there, unwarranted sense of guilt/shame.
Below is a picture of the "onesie" with some little pants I made that I'll talk about tomorrow. Love!

It's Burpin' Time!

So after doing a half dozen bibs, I was bored. and had realized I won't be using those immediately, but burp rags will be a constant, starting pretty quickly in February... So I made some burp rags! This website gave me a general idea, so I made a pattern on paper and cut out some fabric and stuck it with some fusible interfacing stuff, and that's my pattern now. Of course I don't have pictures of this process, but I promise there are better examples of how to do that on the internets anyhow. But I've made a few:



For the one above, I took my little pattern guy and made a little slanty pattern from paper. Then I added a 1/8" seam on each side. I don't know if that's actually how you do that, but it turned out well enough for me to keep doing it. :) I love making burp rags because you can go from start - cutting the fabric - to finished product in between 30 and 45 minutes, even for a beginner like me. And they don't have to have perfect stitching because, well they're made for spit-ums. I've given a few of these away as well, and I also hope they survive for at least a while. :)
The link in the title is again to a friend's website, who has compiled a great number of free patterns and tutorials for all sorts of things, from baby stuff to bags to clothes. Love.

Bibs!

Hello all!
We finally got a new battery charger for our phone, so I can update on what I've been sewing! Now, clearly I'm a beginner, so don't laugh at how the stitching is all crazy. I'll start out with bibs since those were the first things I made. I don't really understand why one wouldn't make their own bibs. I used fabric I bought, which was silly, because old t-shirts and an old terrycloth towel are perfect for bib-making. And they clearly don't need to look nice because their whole purpose is to be thrown up on. Just sayin'.
I used two different patterns, one from Chickpea Sewing Studio and one from Nested. I think they turned out okay:


I've given a couple away as gifts to unwitting new parents, muahaha. Hopefully they don't fall apart immediately! I'm sort of in a dilemma because of the neck size. I know bibs are really important for bottle-fed babies, but we plan on breastfeeding for the first year. So... are bibs necessary during that time? I dunno. Whatever.
The link in the post is to a friends' blog who got me started with a bunch of helpful free patterns! Yay freeeeee! Love.

Your Hands; Stillness

How can you define what makes a song still within you the place made for the Spirit? Some songs... immediately I feel myself reawaken to the Holy Spirit. The only other way for me to feel that stillness descend it to gaze upon something beautiful. Like the way lamplight fliters through tree leaves at night, the darkness around that cocoon of warmth. The crackle of a driftwood bonfire. The moon high over the ocean. My husband walking away to pray in that moonlight. The salt in that wind; the loneliness of those waves. The sky on fire with the dying sun. My husband asleep. The front porch on the farm at the close of a calm day. My husband walking out the door of the office to pray in the evening.
I don't know why I must be reminded to be still. I am glad it happens without my asking, at least from time to time. I'm sure it's different for everyone. I desperately want the Lord to use me to bring the stillness that comes from the recognition that the greatest Spirit around dwells within and communes. I love You, Holy Spirit. You do comfort. You do instruct. You do refresh. You do strengthen.
I am desperately in love with You, God. I am tripping over myself to get to You. Your glance makes me hear my heartbeat in my ears and feel it in my fingers. Own me, Lord. Take all of me. [I hate the word abandon because I have those sorts of issues, but] I throw myself at You; I can't help it. You're irresistable.
[The song below is from Aaron Strumpel's new album, Vespers I & II. This is the sort of song I mean. It may do nothing for you...]
All is love.