Weight

On a side note, I'm not "gaining appropriate weight" according to all the experts. I've decided I don't care. I eat until I'm quite full, I never let myself get too hungry, and I eat a lot of protein. AND, the baby is gaining an ounce a week, not a pound. I don't feel bad. I refuse.

Music

Preface: I have no beef with people who don't particularly care for music. I don't particularly care for sports, or spotless houses, or a lot of other things others really care for. In no way is this meant to make you feel like I think less of you because you aren't picky about the noises that go in your ears.

How is music so powerful? Why did the Lord give us this... this transporter? I love, love the flashes of memory from hearing a song that epitomized a previous season. Who doesn't love that automatic remembering of who you were and what you were about and how you felt? I know Proust examines that in Un amour de Swann, which is very well and good, and certainly thorough. I was listening to a remix of a song that includes two songs from the Beach Boys' album Pet Sounds, which was the only cd I listened to for about two solid months in the Spring of 2005. And the last time I heard this remix, I got a flash of a particular intersection in the town I lived in, and having the windows down and being happy. I would never ever have remembered that moment of feeling free in an otherwise difficult time in my life without having heard that. Things like that. They're markers of times, whether they be significant moments, like the two songs I listened to over and over again the night I gave my life over to Jesus, or just a random memory of sitting in my truck, not wanting to go clean a stranger's house (my loneliest job to date).

I just love how we remember better through music. How we feel memories or even new emotions through music. How someone can craft a song, or even a couple of seconds of a song, and it speaks to us in our deepest emotional places. Or, it speaks to someone. I also love that. You may love a song - it may lift you up to bliss - and I may think it's annoying. I gave my mom a "happy mix cd" and she doesn't like it. She thinks most of the songs are kind of grating to the ears. But the songs, they make me so happy I can laugh, just from enjoying them so much and having them make me happy.

Is that weird? I think it's normal; I think a lot of people carry things inside them through music. I just have such a hard time remembering things; I can't really remember who I was 5 years ago because I really am a completely (almost) different person. And that Michelle was totally different from the Michelle of 2001. But I have the music I've listened to for the past decade, and I can use it to chart who I was and who I am, to look back fondly or sadly or angrily or with pity on past Michelles and try to be careful with myself now. Because, if that girl was in my life now, I'd love her and want to be careful with her, to strengthen and encourage and comfort her. So it only follows that I'll feel the same way about me now in the future.

Three Months Already?!?

My head is spinning around as you read this. Do I really only have 6 more months before I'm completely responsible for another human being (that can crawl away from me, or cry alllll the time, or pull things on top of itself, or ceaselessly need attention, not to mention can cost a lot of money we don't have)? Eek.

Okay, all you mommas out there, is it as scary as it seems? Cause, honest, I'm kinda freakin out. Especially if s/he's like me. at all. Please, Lord, give me a mini-Stephen. Please? He's so calm and obedient. Pretty pretty please?

[On a side note, I'm enjoying the second trimester, especially if it continues to get better, as far as the not-constantly-nauseated-and-exhausted feelings go.]

[on another side note, my next post will be a series of amusing pictures depicting my first attempt at sewing a wool diaper]

Return of the Diaper Drama

Mkay, I'm positive we're cloth diapering, for a whole lot of reasons. Most of them are purely economical, but I also (a) don't want a bunch of weird chemicals touching my tiny baby and his/her skin. S/he will have plenty of time to pollute him/herself with toxins later on; and (b) littl'uns potty train earlier with cloth than with disposables, which I'm sure I will appreciate; and (c) I don't like being a trashy person, and disposables make a LOT (I almost made a pun before I decided it might be too crude) of trash. And several other reasons besides.

But that was by far the easiest part. Now comes the, "okay. I have 6 months to figure out some sort of 'system' that I think will work for us, all the while not having a real live baby in front of me to try things out on."
Which is where I am now.

I'm currently leaning towards buying prefolds and making my own wool covers. I'm also currently leaning towards using bought wool fabric, rather than thrifting wool from old/second-hand sweaters and the like. My current reasoning is threefold: used sweaters have already been used - there's already been some wear and tear, and we want to have three babies after this one. Even though cloth will save us money during the diapered span of just one child, I'd lovelovelove for these to last as long as possible. Second, I have more control over what chemicals are on/in the fabric when I buy the fabric from a retailer, rather than at Goodwill. Third, I have doubts about the selection and quality of wool I will be able to find at thrift stores in the College Station area. It's Texas; how many wool garments do people buy here in the first place?

I know this isn't the dirt cheapest option, but ready-made wool covers are (it looks like) 5 or 6 times the price of buying high quality wool by the yard and making them myself. The link in the title has a pattern and instructions for a wool diaper cover.

Any thoughts? Clearly I'm not even a beginner in this area. Sigh... love.

Kitchen!!!

Stephen and I FINALLY finished painting the kitchen cabinets (and I mean, we started painting in February... and this was the end of July). Here they are now:

Please note the dishes neatly stacked and waiting for our only dishwasher, my long-suffering husband, to wash them. I vow to get a dishwasher before we get a baby; I also vow to do the dishes much more frequently then. :)
Also note the picture with our future formica candidates:

Stephen has his heart set on this one:

But I'm really not sure the people who buy the house after us will like it. It's very... mod. We're also planning a very cool back-splash that MAY get done by the time we move in 5 or 6 or 7 years. Maybe. If it does get done, it will look something like the link in the title. Love.