* Seriously, if you're male or not excited about the ins and outs of maternity life, you are warned to not read below. :) *
Two questions:
1) Have you ever experienced a crampy type of pain right above your pubic bone when you don't get enough sleep? I'm talking about 5 hours of sleep. This has happened to me twice, and it's pretty scary, because it really hurts, but it goes away if I take a long nap. Is there anything to be done besides getting more sleep? What do you do when you have multiple children, and a 3 hour nap isn't going to happen? ...or is this just my problem?
2) How do you go about shopping for nursing bras? I've pretty much outgrown my normal ones, but I don't want to buy more regular bras if they're just gonna shrink back down. Does it make sense to buy nursing bras now? Or should I wait? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just kind of embarrassed about my breasts always looking like they're going to spill out of my bras.
Also, I just want to say, I really don't like doctors who listen to you talk about what's going on in your body for 20 seconds and then confidently say what is going on. Even if you're right, doc, I want to feel listened to. You may deal with pregnancy all the days of your life, but my body is doing crazy and new things to me every day. So I want to know that I've been heard and fully understood. And people who think they know everything are obnoxious. Even those who get paid a lot. Aaaand I'm done.
Also also, has anyone found a free pattern for a side-snap infant shirt? I haven't yet been successful, but people say the side snaps are so much nicer for babies and mommas. Thoughts?
27 October 2010
14 October 2010
The D Word
MAN, in just perusing Yahoo this morning, there are a lot of famous people getting divorced. It just makes me so glad to have my husband. To have both my parents' and my parents in law's marriages intact. How rare is that nowadays? Crazy.
I know extreme cases happen. My husband is not me, and he really does have free will. I cannot control him if he decided he wanted to leave me and the goodness of the Lord's plans. But I do still feel so secure in our marriage. I feel secure in his love, and I know it's mainly because of his steadfastness in the Lord.
Of course there will be storms. In the world, we will have trouble. But I do have the peace that where I am, there He will be also. And with Stephen, that makes a cord of three strands, not easily broken (look, let me use it how I want to).
A friend pointed out that, in this season of my life, Stephen has been one of the greatest outlets of God's firehose of love toward me. He will find a way to love me, even when I don't want to heard directly from Him. I carry misgivings about God's love in my heart and shut Him out of certain areas; instead of shutting me right back out of His love, He sneaks behind my walls with His love in other forms. Like my incredible husband. Like amazing meetings with potential ministry supporters. Like blooming friendships and a growing homegroup. With a developing baby boy. But mostly, in my little spotted heart, with my darling, steadfast, kind, favorite-person-of-my-whole-life husband.
What a good God.
I know extreme cases happen. My husband is not me, and he really does have free will. I cannot control him if he decided he wanted to leave me and the goodness of the Lord's plans. But I do still feel so secure in our marriage. I feel secure in his love, and I know it's mainly because of his steadfastness in the Lord.
Of course there will be storms. In the world, we will have trouble. But I do have the peace that where I am, there He will be also. And with Stephen, that makes a cord of three strands, not easily broken (look, let me use it how I want to).
A friend pointed out that, in this season of my life, Stephen has been one of the greatest outlets of God's firehose of love toward me. He will find a way to love me, even when I don't want to heard directly from Him. I carry misgivings about God's love in my heart and shut Him out of certain areas; instead of shutting me right back out of His love, He sneaks behind my walls with His love in other forms. Like my incredible husband. Like amazing meetings with potential ministry supporters. Like blooming friendships and a growing homegroup. With a developing baby boy. But mostly, in my little spotted heart, with my darling, steadfast, kind, favorite-person-of-my-whole-life husband.
What a good God.
28 September 2010
To Tie or Not to Tie
I was thinking the other day, if we but bows in girl babies' hair to show that they are girls, shouldn't we have something to show that boys are boys? So I made a teeny tie.
What do you think? Dumb? Cute? Too cheesy? I'm thinking of maybe making a few as gifts to friend who are having boys, but I don't want to waste my time if everyone else thinks they're dumb. I think it's really cute. This is the prototype; I definitely learned a few things that I would not replicate in future mini-ties.
A close-up:
The backside:
What do you think? Dumb? Cute? Too cheesy? I'm thinking of maybe making a few as gifts to friend who are having boys, but I don't want to waste my time if everyone else thinks they're dumb. I think it's really cute. This is the prototype; I definitely learned a few things that I would not replicate in future mini-ties.
A close-up:
The backside:
14 September 2010
Grief
It seems like grief, I suppose like memories, never gets buried deeply. It seems like it also troops in together; all the loss you've ever felt links arms and rushes at you en masse.
Is this true? Is that always the way? Will every loss from now on just compound on each other, until each death is catastrophic, or until I dissociate from myself and live apart from emotion and attachment?
Stephen's great grandmother died last week. She was an amazing, 90-year-old woman. She was completely in love with Jesus, and He used her to love people. She is dancing in heaven right now. I want to be like her.
That being said, I didn't know Granny B well. I spent time with her on five or maybe six different occasions. But I have known loss, mourning, and grief, and I cried a lot at her memorial service. It seems, oh, like the loss of my grandmothers became fresh and real again, even though I lost one when I was only four years old. I have grieved her death many, many times through the years, even though I know I will see her again. See her and know her. We will make memories we won't even have to remember. I grieve not remembering her as much as not seeing her now.
Anyway, I know this is emotional, and maybe even boring to some, but it just struck me as so odd. Almost embarrassing, that I would cry so much for a woman I barely knew, even though she is fully worth missing while we cannot be with her. But why is grief not satisfied? Is there not a number of tears that allows it to relinquish its hold?
I'm not in mourning. I do not think of the people to whom I've said goodbye every day. But even if each revolution of the cycle of grief gets larger and larger, while the intensity is usually less and less, I wish I could be free of the pain of unexpected tears.
Is this true? Is that always the way? Will every loss from now on just compound on each other, until each death is catastrophic, or until I dissociate from myself and live apart from emotion and attachment?
Stephen's great grandmother died last week. She was an amazing, 90-year-old woman. She was completely in love with Jesus, and He used her to love people. She is dancing in heaven right now. I want to be like her.
That being said, I didn't know Granny B well. I spent time with her on five or maybe six different occasions. But I have known loss, mourning, and grief, and I cried a lot at her memorial service. It seems, oh, like the loss of my grandmothers became fresh and real again, even though I lost one when I was only four years old. I have grieved her death many, many times through the years, even though I know I will see her again. See her and know her. We will make memories we won't even have to remember. I grieve not remembering her as much as not seeing her now.
Anyway, I know this is emotional, and maybe even boring to some, but it just struck me as so odd. Almost embarrassing, that I would cry so much for a woman I barely knew, even though she is fully worth missing while we cannot be with her. But why is grief not satisfied? Is there not a number of tears that allows it to relinquish its hold?
I'm not in mourning. I do not think of the people to whom I've said goodbye every day. But even if each revolution of the cycle of grief gets larger and larger, while the intensity is usually less and less, I wish I could be free of the pain of unexpected tears.
31 August 2010
Weight
On a side note, I'm not "gaining appropriate weight" according to all the experts. I've decided I don't care. I eat until I'm quite full, I never let myself get too hungry, and I eat a lot of protein. AND, the baby is gaining an ounce a week, not a pound. I don't feel bad. I refuse.
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