Yawl. I'm about to get real serious.
E is 16 months old and like 2 months into being weaned. I guess I don't really see the big deal in continuing to nurse past 12 months because it just gets a thousand times easier now that he's not relying on me for food. E nurses for comfort, and it makes my life easier to nurse him, honestly. Part of me is kind of glad we're weaning so I am forced to learn other parenting techniques to help him settle. He already gets tantrum-y, either from not getting his way, or from not being able to express what he wants, or both.
That wasn't meant to be anything about anyone else; I'm just saying I don't mind nursing him like 4 or 5 times a day or something. It doesn't make running errands or going to friends' houses or really anything difficult. But we're going on our church staff retreat at the beginning of August for 6 days, and E is staying with my parents. So we've been weaning him. And it's been so hard lately.
Like last night, He woke up 7 times. SEVEN. And I mean 7 times between 1 and 4:30, at which point he came to bed with us because I can only handle closing the door on him and letting him wail himself to sleep once every few nights. He even got to nurse for an hour from 3-4 because I was so tired that I fell asleep in the rocker - very first time I've done that.
I can't tell if he's honestly not ready, or just exercising his already strong will. I love his little strong will, but he is killing me slowly right now! We're down to 3 feedings, and I just don't know how to go to fewer, but I'm determined not to just leave him with my parents to be cut off from the comfort he obviously seeks. I would not push weaning at all except that I need to go to our staff retreat (I mean, I'm on staff), and we won't get anything done if he's there.
I know I'm just complaining, but it just seems like we're stuck in this situation, and I think this is the less-traumatic way than just cutting him off when we leave for staff retreat, but I'm not sure this is the less-traumatic way for me. :) Please tell me it will get better! I am losing hope that my child will EVER sleep through the night, or even only wake up once.
It will get better - at least as far as sleeping goes. As the mom of what had to be the worse sleeping baby in history, I can totally sympathize and sometimes venting is the most productive thing you can do. But I can finally say that we are in a good place. All of sudden, she was ready to sleep - and by that I mean fall asleep on her own (with me checking in our her every 10 minutes or so) in her own bed in her own room and sleep (most) nights all the way through - no crying, no fussing, she was even the one to first suggest it! A miracle compared to wear she was 6 months ago - which sounds a lot like E. I have no tips or tricks because we didn't really do anything to make it happen, just kept going as best as we could until she was ready. So while there were moments when I looked at the more experienced mothers around me who promised it would get better and thought they must be playing some evil trick on me, they were right.
ReplyDeleteAs far as weaning goes, I'm not a total help because Lucy is 25 months and still not weaned - basically for all the reasons you said at the beginning that make me wonder why bother if we both are comfortable with it? She'll get there when she is ready. As far as the retreat goes, have you considered that he might not need to be totally weaned. I haven't ever left Lucy overnight so it might be different but the great thing about nursing a tot is that it is so flexible. If I am around at certain times (nap, bedtime, etc) she will almost certainly want to nurse and get very upset with me if I refuse for some reason BUT if I'm not around, she is totally fine with whatever Craig does. She just seems to know that I have to be around for milk. You might try leaving him with your parents (or someone else) at a time when he will be expecting to nurse and see how it goes.
I don't have any answers because I'm in the same situation. We're at the "don't offer, don't refuse" phase, but I have no idea how to help her sleep through the night, especially on nights when she's not enthusiastic about dinner.
ReplyDeleteI want to have her completely weaned before #3 is born in December, so even if it's hard, I'll send her to my parents if that's what it takes. I'm praying that it doesn't come to that, but I have no desire to tandem nurse.
I do know that some day it will get better! I don't know when that day is, but it's coming probably sooner rather than later.