I watch So You Think You Can Dance. Think what you will of that - I love dance. I'm not positive what exactly it is about dancing, but I have some theories.
I have this thing about joy. I greatly desire it. I love expressing it. I think it is probably one of the fruits of the Spirit that comes more naturally to me. So it makes sense that I love happy music. Not silly music or fake happy music, but music that makes you want to jump around your house like you've gone mad. The best music makes you feel like you're about to burst out of your skin and fly away (in my opinion anyway).
Why is it so hard to dance sometimes? I'm not saying I need to be good at it. I mean, I love watching others dance well, and what the human body is incredible and capable of such beauty. But I'm alone in my house - there's no one to impress. Even if Stephen's home, he's even worse of a dancer than I am (look, it's just true), and he really loves the dancing part of me anyway, so I have nothing to be worried about from him.
It is hard to dance when you're pregnant, or it really was for me, and I think that's really gotten me out of my routine. But I think it's something else. Honestly, I got really down on myself for the way I looked when I was pregnant, and I allowed that negative self-talk to rob me of the gift of enjoying things. Honestly, God has give me so many reasons to dance with joyful abandon. He is so good to me. You really don't know. But I do, when I take a moment to look around me.
I'm going to work on it. If it's true that I can be a channel of grace to others by engaging with the Lord in the ways He's gifted me, I want and need to be practicing the discipline of joy and the very-related discipline of thanksgiving, because what leads to joy but a realistic view of all that He has given?
If you're wanting to start a routine of dancing for joy, I highly recommend Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion. It's weird, but these guys know how to make really happy music (with fabulous beats). Love.
You are especially joyful, my friend. I like your laugh. And your crazy dancing. :)
ReplyDeleteI've never been much of a dancer, publicly or privately. But with Lucy, I've learned to enjoy it. She doesn't care if I'm good, she just wants me to get in there with her and move to the beat. When we are having a bad day and I can feel myself getting frustrated, putting a cd on and dancing with her is the best attitude adjustment I can give myself.
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